Plato once said, "Men and women were once whole but were torn in two, and the pursuit and desire of that whole is called love." There can't be a more accurate description of the love that Ken and Treya Wilber shared over the short five years of their marriage. The two fell in love "at first touch" and despite the shortness of the time they spent together, Ken and Treya shared the strongest spiritual and emotional bond than any that I've ever seen in either literature or in real life.
However, that does not mean that one should expect a heartbreaking, tear-jerking, tragic love story in this book. The book is in fact on spirituality and psychotherapy more than anything else. The author Ken Wilber is a renowned American philosopher and a spiritualist, whose wife is diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer only a few days after their wedding. Ken temporarily suspends his regular writing jobs in order to fully devote himself to his new role as a "support person" for Treya. Although Treya encounters multiple recurrences and metastasis cancer all over her body (brain, chest etc), not to mention complications with diabetes and chest cold, neither Ken nor Treya gives up hope: the human mind is an incredible force.
It's not because Ken and Treya are some kind of enlightened philosophers that they were able to endure the series of treatments and countless trials of orthodox and alternative therapies over the course of five years. They too, like many other cancer patients, encountered self-hatred and naturally questioned "Why me?" The couple's marriage was jeopardized at one stage because of the emotional duress both of them were under. Nevertheless, their "religion" (or their openness to all religious teachings) and the strength of their characters allowed for the Wilbers' innder strength and endurance. For example, one of the most enlightening moments for Treya is when she finally internalizes Plato's philosophy, which ascribes the characteristic of "doing" to male and that of "being" to female. It gives Treya an opportunity to objectively review her past and design an ideal lifestyle and personality for her remaining days, no matter how short a lifetime she has left. She strives to balance the masculine and feminine sides in herself, and an interesting concept which she calls "passionate equanimity" becomes her goal. Even when she is given a few months to live, she never ceases to help others suffering from cancer and constantly seeks ways to train both her body and soul to fight cancer.
The effects of Treya's illness on her spirituality are incredible, but so are its effects on Ken's spirituality. Ken regains his daemon (it means 'fate') and becomes more committed to his daemon without having to worry about displaying daemon to others through publishing books. He learns to accept his new role as a support person for Treya, and demonstrates selflessness and devotion that can only come from a genuine heart.
The Wilbers' religious affiliation is also extremely fascinating. They are not "Buddhists" in the conventional sense - although they would be classified as Buddhists. They don't follow the Buddhist lifestyle but use the Buddhist method to arrive at spiritual tranquility and achieve profound understanding of the Self. This, Ken Wilber explains, is the difference between exoteric and esoteric religions. Exoteric religion focuses on seeking salvation through belief in some form of a Creator figure, and requires one to adhere to specific customs and moral codes. Those who engage in Esoteric religious practices on the other hand, aspire to transcend the common myths and realize what is ultimate "Self" or "Witness." Ken and Treya hope to arrive at this "enlightenment" and search for their spirit through meditating - to conclude that when you realize that you cannot find your spirit, then you have already found it.
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